It seems that every day as families you are faced with some stressful situation that you did not expect, nor that you can control, and only hope that you can survive. It can cover a bevy of issues that fall under the category of stressful situations that could include unemployment, mental illness, relocation, community violence, and even poverty. If and when this happens to you or someone in the family, your children usually suffer as they try to cope with what they feel like an unrelenting of anxiety that they do not understand. Trying to cope with their childhood anxiety is a hard challenge for the entire family.
It seems that flexibility is the arsenal of every parent. It is what we want to teach our children, so they can find strength, grow well, and bounce back.
You will find that many children can survive and even become successful when their lives face many challenges. Children can cope and thrive.
Every parent wants to know how they can make sure that when things that are unpredictable happen, that their children have a storehouse of curiosity, the grit to survive it, and the ability to stay in a relationship. Below is listed some ideas of how to help your child succeed in life.
Whatever you do, support your child’s capacity for learning. Help them as they relate well with others and develop strong social skills. Work at helping your child use their imagination while they play. You do the hard work to help your child see themselves as part of the community.
If your child sees themselves as a part of the community, it becomes a powerful tool as it discourages their feelings of hopelessness and isolation. Knowing that one is nested in their community helps the child to ask for help and finding help during times of need helps them learn the value of a support system.
Build up a sense of community by picking a couple of communities that your family can become involved with (even if you and your spouse are homebodies). You need to get out there for your child’s sake. Get on your local community or municipality’s websites and see what the activities are city-wide.
Make sure you attend birthday parties and get involved in what is going on in your child’s classroom. You might consider joining a religious community. If you already have intimate friends, your child can see support and togetherness through your gatherings with friends.
Develop your child’s regulation and awareness of their feelings. Help them to develop strategies and skills for obtaining their needs and being able to communicate how they feel toward others.
Think about it, having the ability to express how you are feeling in words is one of the most valuable gifts you can teach your child. Verbal and emotional skills can reduce your child’s tantrums and the behavior of acting out as it gives them a healthier way to express and tell you about their experience and ask you for help. When a child is frustrated, or their needs are beyond the limits of what their vocabulary has reached, it is so frustrating for them to explain to you what is bothering them and can often make their uneasy feelings much worse.
Try to broaden their emotional vocabulary up to 10-15 words that you are regularly using with them. Think about the simple words of “sad” “happy” or “angry” as having many different shades. Consider implementing the following “shades” (satisfied, calm, impatient, annoyed, hurt) and using them in your daily conversation. Have your children start using these new words as they are talking about their day before bedtime or even at the dinner table at night time. Discourage them from saying “I AM angry,” and instead say “I FEEL angry.” It gives your child a larger emotional vocabulary but encourages them with a better sense of explaining themselves in the face of emotion.
In life, your child will have the opportunity to be in many relationships. By encouraging the playdates, community involvement, and outings that all matter in their development to be able to form relationships. You want your child to have the ability to build strong relationships with you, their parent, caregivers, and with their peers.
It is extremely important to stay attuned and connected to your child’s needs. You can translate this by watching their daily habits and with a little coaching and the commitment to staying on top of what is going on in your child’s life. It is necessary for you to be less engaged in your iPhone, but instead, look up and stay tuned into your child’s needs, and start establishing a few easy habits.