Never get to the place that your kids will not test their boundaries. If your child is healthy and has secure relationships should and will be testing their boundaries. Prepare yourself.
They test the boundaries because they feel the safety net of trust and can explore their base because there will be a loving presence close by if they fall.
A child that is healthy and normal will express anger and get angry at his mom and dad. If you, as parents have done your job well and communicated the fact that your family can survive the emotions that go with anger and not run away from it or that punishment awaits them your toddler will probably use their family relationship to search their feelings of anger and maybe aggression.
You can be nurturing, have clear, consistent boundaries, and be respectful. It is more encouragement than a tip. It is good to know common sense tells you that being a better parent that more love is always possible. It might seem like lots of hard work, but that relationship with your toddler is worth fighting for no matter what. Discipline without all the drama is more successful and is possible.
Think Again About Consequences. Most parents will immediately go to a: spanking, take a privilege away, or a time-out. Directly heading to a consequence or even some kind of reward is counterproductive. Step back a minute from the situation and “connect and redirect.” Before you decide on the discipline, respect your child and listen to what they have to say about what happened, make sure you value their ideas and help with problem-solving, and let them know no matter what we will be on their side. Then we introduce the consequences.
Connection is not the same as permission. Just because you have listened to them does not mean they can do whatever they want. One of the best things you can provide for your child is to give them boundaries that are consistent and clear. That will include their consequences.
The rules need to cover the grandparents your toddlers see regularly. If those grandparents are inconsistent in what is expected of the child’s discipline, it limits it across all the caregivers and causes confusion, pain, and insecurity with the toddler.
Be Consistent. Most of the parents out there feel they are consistent, but when you get down to it, you see there are significant inconsistencies in all of your child’s caregiving situations. If you don’t take the time to teach all the caregivers about your expectations, structures, rules and such, then all is lost.
Stick with your toddler even when it is hard. When you are mad and tell your child to go to their room and stay; it communicates that you don’t want to be around your toddler unless they are happy. When you put down stiff punishments like making them go to their room, tell them you are not going to change your mind, but go to them and help them deal with the feelings they are having.
Involve your child in their discipline. You will probably be surprised to find out what kind of solution your child can come up with for their behavior issues. By you showing that you care what they think is an excellent way to show respect to your child.
Wrap it Up. You probably read this thinking it would give you the perfect solution. No one can tell you where you should place the “time out spot,” whether you should have them count, you set a timer or what will work best for your child. Each child is unique, and discipline is never easy. If you can understand the basic truths about what your child needs, it can help you be more effective in how you handle each situation with your toddler. Sometimes it is trial and error.