Why yelling at your kids does not work

Why yelling at your kids does not work

May 05, 2013

You would have, at one time or other faced a situation when despite all the parenting skills you have followed, all you want to do is to scream at your child. He may have either been irresponsible, hurtful or has ignored you despite repetitions. After moments of calming down, you’d have asked yourself the same question all parents do, “Why did I scream again? Why do I let him push my buttons so easily?”

Yelling is sometimes a very natural response when kids don’t listen, are rude or for a host of other reasons when your emotions are unfairly triggered. While screaming, scolding and threatening worked wonders when our parents raised us, it goes against parenting today because parenting today puts a lot of value to long-term relationships, being their child’s friend and respecting a child. Daycare and preschool centers also put a lot of weight on building good relationships with your children. So the question arises, how we get our kids to behave without the yelling and screaming?

Here are some great ways:

  • Know your triggers well. Plan and prepare for your triggers. If you get triggered when your child is rude to you, plan for what you could do instead of screaming. If you plan ahead, you have control and this practice won’t let you ‘lose it’. Take a walk, call a friend, listen to music – plan your time out and breathe. Once you have calmed down, address the situation with your child in a calm manner. According to our daycare experts, this works wonders and your child will even listen to you and not block you out.
  • Create a behavior chart with your young child where he is rewarded with stickers that he can accumulate to redeem a gift in exchange for. Every time he does something well, let him put a sticker on the chart. Slowly, you will be able to mould your child’s personality into something that is a socially acceptable behavior. Every time you don’t lose it, reward yourself too!
  • Being a calm parent is not only important to your well-being, it is important for your child’s mental stability too. A parent who screams and yells will have a strong willed child no matter what measures they take. You will always notice that when you start becoming calm when dealing with your child, your child calms down too. Children’s behavior is only a  reflection of their parents’.
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